Musings of Scrambled Tofu

words dripping from my mind to my mouth -

they are just dripping,
forming a stalactite
or something...



sometimes i find myself unable to move,
with words and their consequences crouched in my throat
waiting for freedom or further confinement
and who's to say which is which?

and then you talk to me
and i could say so much
but i don't need to.

we are just walking towards the cemetery
and we're listening to the world

currently (as current as words can be),
the big window in my room is open, there is a huge sun patch on the wood floor, the sky is a light winter blue, there are a few clouds, i just have my ben and jerrys shirt and my brown skirt on, it is about 65 degrees, fiddle music is playing, it is 13:55, there is green grass on the ground, i still of the taste of the bread i ate in my mouth, it is a good taste

there isn't any snow


i come back in a week

i had a dream in which my brother just got his license and he drove a blue plastic sled in the shoulder of the highway with me in the back, until he crashed into a car parked in the shoulder horizontally...

i'm trying to figure out what and how to write my essay for my time here

i am going to get more water



over and out.

Current Location: maribor
Current Music: fiddlelyfiefoefum

i am going to make some clay...

i'm glad to know that you are all alive...it is a nice thought.

it is supposed to blizzard tonight

erm....

love

oh look..i'm posting...

some people in a room right near me are jamming with mandolin and guitar and violin and singing rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama any way you feel...rock me mama like the wind and the rain, rock me mama like a south bound train....
its a good song
i'm going to write a spanish paper..
pip pip cheerio

high school is afformentioned stone.


being done with it will be like breathing for the first time in a long time

it will be like taking off a forty pound pack after twenty miles of hiking uphill

it will be like jumping off a cliff and hitting the adrenaline point

it will be like stepping off of hot coals i didn't realize i was on and then feeling my feet start to heal

it will be like skinny dipping

it will be like coloring all over myself

it will be breathing and living and being 

it will be freedom





i am looking forward to restoring my health.

Current Mood: crazybusystressedexcited
Current Music: dispatch

hello
but:
HAPPY 18 BIRTHDAY CASSANDRA.







i need some affirmation that i exist.

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: katy's mix

scribblescribblescribble

spring

is there much to say?

i guess there is so much to say.

i mean, there is so much to say between us.

There are so many words between us that never cross paths...they just hang there..in the middle of the subconcsious world, a little out of sight of each other.

Maybe they aren't words.  Maybe they are feelings or unformed thoughts or impulses...

But they are there.

Why can't we communicate or be intimate.

These are our last monthes, we are ready to move on...but does it mean that we must go about nullified, non existent from our own denial of each other and the world around us and maybe ourselves?  can't we be together and live and share the world we knew and don't know?

Can't we be genuine and real and intimate?

Out lips spill out how are you's, haphazardly...insincerely.  

Let's mean it next time.

Current Music: broke down melody

and yes, i am still up.

hope life is well for everyone.



snow day tomorrow?

haha..i'm such a jerk. oh well. i still hope it is a snow day tomorrow even if i've had too many days off.

love.

SNOW ING SOON

the end

thinking outrageously, i write in cursive






i am both celebrating life and mourning it





um...     bye

Current Music: jack johnson

sleep time.

i need to get out some of that energy.

you know what i mean?  there is this particular kind of energy.

it is the energy that wells up in you all day...but slowly and silently ---
like if there were a constant humidity in one room...eventually the room would fill with water particles...but imperceptibly..because it isn't raining - or even drizzling..yet it happens
and it's the kind of energy that is ambiguous --  you could either laugh and be giddy or cry and be very sad, you could go cross country skiing for miles, or stand in one place and paint with your hands, you either want to be completely alone or completely with someone...



i am in suspension

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: nicks mix

hey
you
out there on your own
can you hear me?


haha. the squid and the whale. what a crazy movie. which that song now reminds me of.


so i actually meant to press on the friends page to read it
but since i pressed the post button instead..i figured i should post.

" post "



snow day tomorrow?
what do you think?


i think that is a yes.
yes, i do believe it will be a snow day.

bye now.

peace

Current Mood: areblsfh
Current Music: mix with people who are lovely

i am so tired
haha



i feel like i am obligated to update this everyonce and awhile. not really. haha.

um. 
bye


peace

HELLLLO

i'll go to hell if the rapture comes

how fantastic



errm.


i'm in a good mood right now.

yay.

we ate a good lunch and almost burned down the house.

i'm going to draw or something

peace, dears.

"and you will blame me, blame me for the rocks and baby bones and broken lock on our garden, garden wall of eden, full of spider bites"




have a NICE
day

Current Mood: good mood
Current Music: nathaniel's hebrew

Let my love reach you all





i hope all are well in a world that is crazy

Current Music: iron and wine, rilo kiley, etc

and to discriminate only leaves hate.


GM is coming out with a new electric car...hopefully : )

err. i felt like writing on this.


sooooooo
now i'm going to count beans
and then i'm going to make a map
and maybe after i'll do chem or stats
we'll see...


and later i'll see cassandra


"According to Feynman's formulation of quantum mechanics, particles must be viewed as travelling from one location to another along EVERY possible path.  Here, a few of the infinity of trajectories for a single electron travelling from the source to the phosphorescent screen are shown.  Notece that this one electron actually goes through BOTH slits."

Current Mood: content
Current Music: haha...black eyed peas

what!!!  ???
i CAN'T hear you......

oh...oh what was that??


VACATAION, YOU SAY!!????

HELL YES IT IS VACATION TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yep!!!!! so, i'm pretty excited about that.  
right now i have to clean my room, pack(pretty much all my clothes are dirty. haha), finish gifts, write brown essays, print off brown paper thingies..........

um...the world is crazy.

many crazy things happen. we do many crazy things. we make many things crazy.



but at the moment, i am in a grand mood, thanks to thoughfullness, goofiness, clay, and love. and music too.




yes. so there. 



there it is. i am not going to get on a computer, nor look at a screen of any kind (besides a camera) for a long time!  for eight or nine days at least!!!  and i'm going to see all my family. my cousins and grandma and hang with my sibs and parents and uncles and aunts.  and i'm going to dig my feet into the sand. and i'm going to jump into waves. and i'm going to read for pleasure. and i'm NOT going to do any of my homework while there. and....and......i'm going to draw and paint maybe.....andd.........i'm going to sleep for 11 hours every night
and..i'm goin gto explore and ponder and connect!!!


yay!!


i hope everyone has a FABULOUS solstice or christmas or kwanza or end of channukkah.

i hope you all are happy.
i love you!

Current Location: my room in mi casa
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: david grey, sufjan, more

ever close your eyes? ever stop and listen? ever feel alive and there's nothing missing?
you don't need a reason, let the day go on and on...
let the rain fall down, everywhere around you
you can do it now, let the day surround you
you don't need a reason, let the rain go on and on...
what a day, what a day to take to to
what a way, what a way to make it through
what a day to take to a wild child

only take the time from the helter skelter, every day you find everythings in kilter
you don't need a reason, let the day go on and on

every summer sun, every winter evening, every spring to come, every autumn leaving
you don't need a reason

let it all go on and on


(thank you enya.)

i hope that enya's fine lyrics have brought you hope this day...as katy once said: i didn't say the other things because people needed some positive.
so hopefully you all had good days full of good things





peace.

Current Music: sufjan, coldplay, others...

i am just a somebody trying to be and feeling like a nobody...which helps people be who they are not who they want to be






but you know who is here? my sister, and her boyfriend, and my grandma.
and even though i've been sick since tuesday i'm happy they are here. cause i love them.


now i'm going to work on college stuff. bye.

Current Music: mix